Almost, all that enter here will be truth or fiction, the rest will be irrelevant or may not exist, everything that could affect actual or fictitious people feel identified with the characters in the book, will fiction and reason for the real chance for the fictional reality, which is not affected ....
remains clear that as in any novel based on fact, almost all the characters are fictional, if by chance the names, circumstances, occupations, addresses, phone numbers, emails and / or ages coincide with someone of the "real life" not be more than mere coincidence.
Whoever does not feel adversely affected and not seeking financial gain may be awarded a character ... he likes, and I'll accept all the real people who are the award ... but will not pay a penny to anyone, this is all a figment of my imagination, sometimes when I look in this cell I still believe that this is a very long nightmare, then took more than three months living in isolation 23 hours a day, when I sleep, I leave my nightmare and went into a peaceful sleep, waking nightmare return to live in the vigil.
I'm a prisoner in the Justice Center Moabit in Berlin, is Friday, May 8, 2009, Sunday will be Mother's Day in Mexico and you will suffer my bowels, I, his eldest son, his worship, his "son" of almost 50 years, is in prison, I suffer because they suffer and what kick him suffer, the suffering I'll be in jail as goes by realizing this Journal-fiction, which is nothing more than a collection of facts that I have played live and which many relatives, friends and acquaintances, should write .
This daily soap opera, I hope to fulfill certain functions, including; alleviate boredom, despair, uncertainty, isolation and the isolation that is experienced when in a cell of 4 x 2.5 meters 23 hours a day in thinking company always cruel, brutally ruthless, it is impossible to have an optimistic stance in this situation, thoughts are the result of the pessimism that is violated through of isolation and confinement, ranging from imagining that my wife is in bed with another man, my father died 83 years or until my son who lives alone in Mexico City has been kidnapped or has been victim of any other form of crime in this beautiful but troubled city.
imagine what they are doing my loved ones is an evil which I try to avoid at all costs, it fills me with sadness and uncertainty, which is the worst feeling of impotence before the damn word ... "ANY", the inability to change generates a single fact the biggest frustration, a couple of days ... just out of view and trying to escape the madness of "ANY" ... wrote ... "against the" had "... just" no way ya, this one sentence I have been a great help, two other major aid has been television and books.
Today, being in the cell of Chelsea, a Chilean offender charged with several burglaries, but for me it's the best therapist I've ever met and as such I use it whenever I can (during the walk of a hour a day on the playground or during visiting hours between inmates you have after a meal), a question you made me realize something that frightened me.
- "And out of here you'll to Mexico? "
When I arrived in Germany on January 22 affected by: the more than 10 tablets (ativanes) he had taken to eliminate my fear of being arrested, whiskeys and wine glasses who gleefully accepted the surcharges without no other reason than not to offend his kindness, had brought with me the intentions of: bed with Sophie, to become an international outlaw, get a bounty of 43.373 euros to pay off debts, buy the engagement ring Pia, and best gift to my children ... no trifles, having money to start a fun business in Mexico and start a new phase in my life, without luxury but quiet with Pia, my "Relatively new old", who when there are severe economic pressures pass me wonder.
What I enjoy most is knowing that with Pia at sunrise will be at my side at night, when we are asleep and wake up for no reason or any irrelevant, invariably my hand looking for her naked thighs, (must sleep in underwear (she)), is a great joy in the quiet of the dark. Until you wake up, do not pass these tremulous caresses, but if you wake up, I will invariably victims of sexual assaults as ruthless as pleasurable.
When he was arrested 3 hours after landing in Berlin and I slept with Sophia, and I won a weight off my debt in Mexico is and continues to grow with a very kind interest of 2% per week and my ability and no payment, but simple economic solvency is less than that of an indigent to American Express.
Chelo's question was a bucket of cold water, because here I am longing for freedom and cursing my captivity, uncertainty, sadness and other permanent cell mates, but I do not collect debts outstanding, they feed me well The food goes from good to excellent, I have a weekly German class, shower, twice a week, Tuesdays and Fridays, hairdresser and library to the "room" I spend watching TV in bed (90% of the time without understanding what they say) without being criticized for my inactivity, world class health service and room service "for all meals, as well as laundry service, personal clothing (in my case the uniform), towels, rags and bedding.
As I did not kill anyone, nor brought twenty kilos of coca, the most that can take this captivity, if I go wrong, it will be until April of next year, but with the chaos I'm putting my deportation can occur long before , then one day get to Mexico, I do not know if you follow the squat, now see it as essential but that neither she nor I are and the pain I get after some time it will, but my need for money with me for the rest of my life.
syndrome last return of the prodigal son, while I go a week with my mom and 15 minutes with my dad, between these two periods, maybe I can live at home.
My conflict is summed up in one of my philosophical principles "to me I would not be fucking me" this can only be given if it is completely self-sustaining.
The picture presented to me in the cell of Chelsea, talking about the certainty of freedom was far from rosy. I'll get to Mexico without a weight, failed as a criminal, frustrated and also to live on charity from friends or relatives ... NI MADRES !!!... I'd like to get victory, but as I am not Ingrid Betancourt on being released will not constitute grounds for a popular party, who I want to be happy for a while, but neither in the stories involve my final destination "where everyone was very happy ", will arrive, there will be a welcome party where there will be jokes, tears and anger meetings, where almost everyone will be happy, but the next day, the daily reach and with it the unromantic part of economic necessity, along with this, the petty quarrels of the time, but now 50 years and claims for lost time. Still do not know how long this will last but I will get out of work and also with their tails between their legs, and more cynical than I will not be able to hide my frustration at the failure, I have caught more than a thief, for stupid, it hurts more Even getting the offender but with a respectable haul. Any man with money is respectable, not that it is the only condition but more money is more respectable, respectable understanding that capacity has to be respected, respect being the "shield" that is against criticism, barbs , assaults, intrusions, advice and suggestions,
There are 3 types of respect as I know, in fact everything here is as I write, unless you cite the source, such as "See a white dove is freedom" ... depending on which Chelsea will promptly, not a desire to give credit to the thinker, but this nonsense as delimitation of its comic content, philosophical, rhetorical or metaphorical are worthy of being written. .. "See a white dove is freedom" ... very therapist ... but stupid.
that holds respect through fear, which holds the admiration and respect that is given based on who respects human quality.
1 º. I will respect who I could damage, such as the respect you had my father, the dread that he had for his person, either through physical violence or verbal contained me to say many things that would have been detrimental to my stability emotional or skin of my thighs. This is respect for fear.
2 º. Whom I will respect for facts, actions or life story, I think is at a higher level than mine. Gustavo would be the example in this respect, Argentina Gustavo left on a trip to Brazil on a small motorcycle when he came to Brazil, and he ran out of money, considered the most sensible thing was to go around the world, lived with me about a month while he was in Mexico City, I who gave me an adventurer, before Gustavo I had no more to say "Chapeau." His adventurous spirit and ability are far superior to mine, this recognition generates respect. The recognition of superior abilities who generates respect there is invariably based on important skills for those respects.
I'm not going to respect anyone with greater lung capacity, and greater ability to study, none of these capabilities matter to me, someone who holds 2 minutes under the water or someone who holds a Ph.D. in science, is not having a level higher mine. Although for much of society is.
3 ° finally awarded him the respect not those who fear or admire him, but who even might think is stupid at a lower level to mine (social, economic or physical) is about my human quality. Who abuse the social, economic or physical assaults by the simple fact show or feel superior, and deserves NO MOTHER TO BE IN A CELL LIKE THAT I AM. HE SAID. Arriving in Mexico
offender failed, my shield to be respected will be similar to having a child shields that were faithful copies of those worn by the knights of the round table ... but plastic and scale, as I ex-prisoner to be in a position very vulnerable to humiliation, and as I'm half sensitive, I need money and do not want to go through that, coupled with that I have time, I have no interruptions, pens and paper gives me the German state, in exchange for not fighting with my peers or damaging facilities, I decided to write a book "in defense", I'll be a writer by necessity, as I become a famous writer and winner, as I make a wool and at least for a while will not have to live credit, equal to enough to buy the bike through the broker and the administrator of the office of Manzanillo a certain Mr. Well, I lost.
But not just involve money making accounts (I love reckoning), a writer can receive 10% of the cost of each book. I have at least 5 hours a day to write, I take 20 pages in two hours, my first 2 hours of formal writer, and I even fit a fingernail so much writing, perhaps these 10 pages per hour represent 7 pages typed, in 5 hours are 35 pages in one week is 245, I think "I pulled it out" with the account, but if you get a novel of 400 pages that can be sold at 300 pesos to the public every 10,000 copies represent ... UTA (UTA, expression I use too often denotes superlative surprise) 400,000 thousand dollars, not what I intended to win on this trip, but it's something. In addition to a literary success and fame comes with celebrity women, so delicious them, in case the squat and has decided to send me to hell, which I hope is not the case, as sooner or later I get another, hopefully not, because I love the shorty and me, outside of a couple of shit he has done and have affected me awkwardly, has been wonderful.
short, like alburero said, if I am going wrong and I have to kick a year in prison for a crime he never committed, but police and 10 other witnesses tried to make them know that, I can return to Mexico frustrated, defeated , humiliated, haggard, tired without illusions and without weight or with a manuscript bajo el brazo que si tiene éxito me representará dinero, fama, mujeres y si sigue la chaparra, el placer de consentirla, que se lo merece y ayudar a mi súper hijo Efrén, que también se las está viendo duras, al maravilloso y sabio de Sebastián , el más pequeño de mis hijos al que me unen muchas características similares y a Alina, mi hija, la primera, mi princesa, mi sol, el prototipo de la naturaleza femenina.
Muchas opciones no tengo, de hecho solamente tengo dos, o seguir lamiéndome las heridas y maldiciendo el momento, que se me ocurrió esto o el momento cuando me tomé las pastillas o cuando acepte ir con Sofía a la pinche tienda; o escribir un libro que can be fun, both in his writing as in reading, just to remember me angry, but I know that if someone were telling me I would be laughing and I say this with certainty because Miguel Honduran drug trafficker, and Perucho, (the Peruvian thief) is fairly laughed when I told them my ordeal, in addition to the Chelsea, who as my therapist, hold your laughter as the male, not always, but sometimes endures.
So "what you Truje Chencha", but I hope you enjoy this book, I hope to alleviate the tedium, uncertainty, despair, and anguish, with whom I live, as well as a writer dream of becoming rich and famous.
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