For this post, I wanted to do something different. I share with you a short story I wrote a few years ago, with stream of consciousness style, "A Sudden Death Of Mind"
A sudden death of mind. The maximum desire to disconnect. The urban nirvana. Brain death without dying. Painless. Colorless. Simple, fast, easy. And for the whole family! That's what I always wanted. Any family? No, you idiot! A quick death. That would be terrible to die slowly in pain. I want a large family, large, with children and grandchildren ... I just want to die! Why die, if there is much to do? I do not know, I just want to know how to die. Do not you want to know how is life? I know how is to live, I know. How the hell will you know? If nobody knows! I do not know, I just know. Ahh, andate to hell with your Socrates versa. Hey, I use the memory of poor Socrates for a stunt like this. Do not you see that he died for what he believed. What do you think? I do not know, I had not thought of. C'mon, there must be something in what you believe. I believe in myself, and you? I ... just believe in belief. Bah! That cheesy! Well, if you do not like you can go to hell. I do not know where that is. Ja, comedian went east. No, seriously, you know how to get the hell? Not really, I never thought that there was a place called hell. Well I tell you that nothing exists, my friend. Nothing exists, not even I am. So how are we talking about? Do not you realize? This is not real! We are creating the imagination of some idiot who wrote this! But how? I am real, not know about you, but I'm real. Oh, come on! How can you be so blind? I have to be real! I have a dream, I have cravings, I have goals. I can not be just a fantasy! Do not wanted much death? Yes, but I have to live to die first! Well, you skipped some steps, but you get to your goal, right? No longer exist. But never existed! Ahh, do not be a girl, let's argue and get to dig me. "Dig? Yeah, dig these memories with me. But do not understand I'm not real! Yes, and? I'm not real. No, but I'm not going to accept just like that. Oh, and what are you doing? Are you going to plead to God maybe? Had not God dead? Well, there is not so in reality it does not matter if he is alive or dead. Did you see? I can not die if I'm not real. Well, then what is the problem? What I want to be alive to die! Bah, who say stupid things. Look fool, for you are stupid, but for me they are principles. Are concepts. For me they are pure crap, if you ask me. Well, do not ask! Oh come on, stop being so sensitive, you're bored. But do not you understand? If I am not real, then nothing of what I experienced was not real. Let's see, how much have you lived? Not much, actually. But I've experienced something that no one can take away me. No, nobody can take away, because it never had. So what the hell I've been doing all this time? I do not know, pure nonsense. Overall I say you do not believe in anything and you want to die and that God is dead and Cogito Ergo Sum and the Tao that can be named is not the eternal Tao pelotudeces pure nonsense that nobody understands but you. I do not understand, you talk funny. I do not know what I mean, do not listen to me. Does this mean that if I am real? No, that stays the same, whatever it says. But then, what do you do? What else is going to do then? DIG! "Digging to forget? Yes it is the only thing we have left. Dig your own grave, my friend, who both want to be in it.
... Then I woke up ...
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